Monsters and Nightmares
During our last Parent’s Discussion Group Meeting, one of the parents brought up
the topic of monsters at bedtime. I was surprised to learn how many of our
children (toddlers) are having the same experience. Some experts say that
nightmares are a reflection of guilt caused by bad behavior during the day. I
believe that nightmares and monsters are a reflection of uncertainties. Toddlers
are all about uncertainties. They are just stepping out on their own, trying out
new feelings, learning new skills, going to new places and having to conform to
societal rules. It’s rough! It would require an unimaginable amount of
self-esteem to not be uncertain. Right after showering your child with love,
building self-esteem is the next essential ingredient in raising a healthy and
happy child. So, assuming that ample work has been done on the self-esteem
issue, let’s deal with the monsters.
The next day, at circle time, I pulled out Busy Nights by Gail Chislett. The
children were completely enchanted. I could see from the look in their faces
that I had struck an important chord. I have been told that this book is out of
print, so I will relay the bare essential of the story. It is bedtime (you can
talk about your own bedtime routine); the child imagines a variety of visitors
(some friendly, some not so friendly) - and then - the monster!!! The child
calls for Mom; Mom comforts the child.
Do you want me to get rid of the monster? No, It’s too big.
Do you want Daddy to get rid of the monster? No, it’s too big.
Do you think you can get rid of the monster? Sure, I can do it.
The child walks right up to the monster, points a finger in it’s face and says:
Get out of my room, monster. You go away. And don’t come back. The monster says
OK. This is the part where the child is completely empowered. It’s great. After
that I act out the same scene with dolls, and ask each child what the doll
should say to the monster. They show no mercy to the monster. If I were the
monster I would leave, for sure. I think it is good for the children to practice
being assertive to the monster in a playful atmosphere. Then, hopefully, they
can pull it off when it really counts - when they are distressed, and when you
are trying to get a good night’s sleep.
If, after reading this article, you are still left with specific question, you
are welcome to e-mail me at carolynnstoddlers@yahoo.com.